A River of Sins
by Arteme
Summary: When Kenshin does not hesitate to kill Tomoe, what is the result? Ten years after the Meiji Restoration, Hitokiri Battousai wanders Japan. What sort of destruction will be left in his wake? [BattousaiKaoru]
1. The Rain Is Stained With Blood Tonight

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. It is not mine. *cries* I _want_ it to be mine, but it's not. *cries more* 

* * *

Summary: Hitokiri Battousai and Himura Kenshin. Two separate entities of the same soul. Yokishiro Tomoe was the woman responsible for the division, but what would have happened if on that night, when the bloody rain fell, if he had not hesitated. What would happen if he had not forsaken his satsujin ken? Can he truly continue to live in the Meiji Era as a hitokiri?

* * *

Prologue:

The Rain is Stained With Blood Tonight

He had been somewhat of a surprise, that assassin from the shadows. He has not expected that attack. Out of nowhere had come the kusarigama. Aside from that he had not been a particularly skilled hitokiri. He has killed him with little effort and even less thought. It had taken longer than usual, though. Too long. Long enough for there to be witnesses.

A woman in a white kimono, ethereal and achingly beautiful, with pale skin and eyes like liquid night. A woman who had gotten her white kimono stained red with the blood of a nameless hitokiri.

The reek of alcohol and white plums was strong about her, just as the reek of blood and steel was strong about him. He stood there for a moment, and then finally looked up and met her melancholy eyes.

She did not run, nor scream. All she did was stand there, staring. Staring at him, like he was some sort of monster. He could admit to as much. He was a monster. A remorseless, _soulless_ killer that felt nothing, that did not think. Indeed he was a monster, and it didn't bother him at all, yet still she stood there, staring.

Thoughts ran through his mind frantically. It was an indecisiveness that he was unaccustomed to. It was there though. Thoughts screaming in his head, contradictory and painful. So many thoughts. He wasn't accustomed to thinking like this.

_Kill her._

It was a simple enough instinct for a hitokiri. To kill. It was a simple enough code. Killing was easy as long as you didn't think to hardly about it, but if you were like him, you didn't have to think at all. He was told where to strike, and there he struck. He did not see the need to question. His only need was to kill. Simple, until you came upon a situation such as this.

She needed to die, simple enough. He did not have to be told this. _Leave no witnesses_, he had been told, and he did not intend to. _The dead have no tales to tell, and no one should know of my existence_, he told himself. Still, he hesitated. _ She is merely a woman. A drunk woman. Where is the honor in killing her?_

_Hitokiri have no need of honor._

He could recognize that voice inside himself. A voice that grew more familiar each day. It was a cold, merciless voice. A pragmatic voice that stopped him whenever he tried to do something soft like this. It was always right, and recently he had been hearing it much more often. He had even been speaking with it a much more often.

_The pacifist and the killer_, he thought, _which one am I?_ He turned to look at the woman curiously. She was still staring at him with cool appraisal. He met those eyes once again as he left his introspection. He met those sad eyes and held them.

"Are you the one who made the bloody rain fall?"

Her voice was cold and distant. Monotone, but at the same time full of so many things. What had she asked him? Bloody rain? Yes, he supposed that he had. He had made the rain become crimson with blood. He had stained the rain just as he had stained his own hands.

He finally decided. In a split second he made a decision. This woman had to die.

With the rapidity of lightning he resheathed his katana. With equal rapidity he unsheathed it in a lethal blow. Battoujutsu. He watched her fall to the ground dispassionately as he mercilessly quelled the protest of the pacifist within him. It didn't matter if she was "innocent". During the Bakumatsu, there _were_ no "innocents."

_Really_, he thought as he cleaned the blood off his katana on the dead woman's kimono, _the only difference her death makes in the course of things was that now whoever finds this hapless bunch will have to take care of two bodies as opposed to one_. Satisfied, he again resheathed his katana and walked off into the night.


	2. Unwise Mistakes

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. I wish I did, but I don't

Note: Just wanted to say that I don't know whether this is an AU fic or not. It's the same people, same place, it's just what would have happened if Kenshin had killed Tomoe that night, which kind of seriously throws off the entire plot.

Note^2: This was rated for violence and language. Oh yes, and adult situations involving drug use (opium) and mild sexual content. It's not a lemon. 

Note^3: This chapter follows the basic plot outline of the anime, because it was easier to incorporate these little twists into the anime as opposed to the manga, meaning that there is no Kihei, and the Gohei was Kaoru's father's student, not just a random greedy villain.

Note^4: Just a correction, in the prologue I said Tomoe Yokishiro, but it's Tomoe Yukishiro, gomen. 

* * *

Unwise Mistakes

The morning dawned, enshrouded in fog. There was an intensity to the air that had not been there the day before. To Kamiya Kaoru, it didn't make much of a difference; it was still a day where she would be fighting for her honor. That bastard was going to pay. 

She stalked the streets of Tokyo looking. She was looking for anyone with a katana. Anyone who could be the man that was discrediting both her and her dojo. She was looking for this Hitokiri Battousai.

For the past couple days he had been plaguing her. Killing people with her Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. He turned her katsujin ken into satsujin ken. A sword that protects became one that kills. He would pay dearly for that. For trying to bring her father's last wish to ruin. This Hitokiri Battousai would pay.

Gravel crunched underneath her feet. Through the fog she could dimly make out another. At first she thought it was a woman, for the figure was short and slight of build, but then she saw it.

Strapped to his hip in the manner of a practiced killer.

A katana.

She took a deep breath, and prepared to attack.

* * *

The Bakumatsu had ended ten years ago.

He still had it.

Unable to let go of it, it was always there, by his hip.

A deadly, lethal katana.

He wasn't sure when it had happened, but it had. He had lost his grip on it. He had lost his reality. Now he just clutched it, unable to let go.

Katana.

It signified to much to him. It made him remember his sins. It made him remember all of the men he had killed. It made him remember what had once been.

So easy back then, during the Bakumatsu, first as a hitokiri of the shadow, then as one of the light. They had told him to strike, and he had. They had told him what to do and he had not had to think. He only had to do.

It wasn't all that easy anymore. Now there was only himself. The ones who had told him what to do had long since died, or now they rot away leading hedonistic lifestyles. He was still a hitokiri, he always would be, but now there was something he was trying to do himself.

Aku.

Soku.

Zan.

The Shinsengumi had said it initially, but now he followed it. Slay evil immediately. That was what he followed now. It was the only thing he knew how to do. It was the only thing a one time hitokiri living in the Meiji Era _could_ do.

That's what had let him here, to Tokyo. The new capital. He was here to kill, he was here to slay. He didn't know who yet, but he was determined to keep the Meiji Era that the Ishin Shishi had fought so hard to bring in place. That was his reason for living. That was his reason for killing.

He was preoccupied, but so preoccupied that he didn't hear the footsteps behind him. Without looking he dodged the swing of the bokken. He didn't bother to unsheathe his katana. He knew instinctively that his attacker was not out to kill him. All he did was side step, and then he came face to face with a blue eyed girl who glared daggers at him.

He was about to turn his back and walk on, but then she called out to him. Called out to him using a name that he had never thought that he would ever hear again.

"Why are you running away, Hitokiri Battousai?" 

* * *

Looking into those cold yellow eyes like ice she wasn't sure where she found the courage to say it, but she did.

"Why are you running away, Hitokiri Battousai?" 

He had turned to walk away from her, but now he stopped and Kaoru's heart stopped along with him. Every single part of her being seemed to scream at her. At first it was just a panicked muddle of impulsive feelings, but then they solidified into one single thought so over powering that she almost fell to her knees.

Run.

And she wanted to. When he turned her eyes onto her, she wanted to run away. Eyes of amber. Cold. Beautiful. Utterly soulless. They were the eyes of a killer. They were the eyes of insanity. Eyes that had seen so many things, done so many things. Eyes that seemed to pour sin from them.

She fully expected him to draw that sword he carried with practice ease. She, in that terrifying moment when their eyes met, fully expected to die. But, even though his hand strayed to his side she couldn't find herself to run. _This_ was the man who had ruined her family's reputation. _This_ was the man who had dirtied her father's legacy with blood. _This_ was Hitokiri Battousai. Even if he was going to kill her, she couldn't loose to him. She couldn't let him walk away from her.

She waited, eyes closed, for a blow that never came.

"What do you want?" 

A voice equally cold to match amber eyes of ice. This was the man discrediting her dojo? Doubt filled her. She couldn't think. This couldn't be him, discrediting her dojo. Why would he want to do that? In reality she had expected it to be some hot-blooded boy her father had dismissed for excessive violence, for there had been many, most of which had sworn revenge on the Kamiya dojo. She hadn't expected it to be him, a practiced killer. Inwardly she berated herself for herself for her foolishness. _Hitokiri_. A killer. It did make sense, but then why, _why_ was he doing this to her life, turning it upside down? It just _didn't make sense_. Why? The thoughts screamed inside of her head. WHY?

That was the only response she had to his query, "why?"

The man looked annoyed. "What are you talking about? Why what? I don't even know who you are, so why are you wasting my time?"

She couldn't take it anymore. She lost her will and fell to the ground, sobbing tears she had been trying so hard to hold back for so long. She clutched the edge of his hakama, desperate to hold on to something. "Why did you ruin my life? Why are you killing people, destroying my father's dream? Can you really play with people's lives that easily? Do you laugh when you kill those people? Does my pain _amuse_ you? Why aren't you answering me damn it? Why, you asshole?"

She glared into those frozen eyes, and for one second, she wasn't afraid of him.

* * *

It wasn't the words that she said. They rolled off him like water would roll off a stone. It had become apparent since the first words of her tirade that she was not speaking of him, the real Hitokiri Battousai. She was talking to someone who was using his name. He didn't find it surprising. He tucked the information into the back of his mind for later use. Right now, he needed to confront these emotions inside him.

He had felt neither pity nor sympathy for a long time, but looking into those sapphire blue eyes he couldn't help but feel a twinge of those long-suppressed emotions. Sadness. Fear. Uncertainty. For a second they were there, and then, even faster, there were gone. Emotions were unneeded for him. None at all, and right now, all he wanted to do was have her leave him alone.

She had brought feelings to him that he did not want to have. She had almost let him soften, become the pacifist once again. He _couldn't_ let that happen. There was still much to many things. There were still people who needed to die, and there always would be. That's why he had initially locked away that part of himself. Now, at this moment, was the perfect time to kill it.

Kill it he did. Mercilessly, without a second thought, he killed it, the part that protested whenever he bloodied his hands, that solitary part of himself that cried, alone, every night. He killed the damn thing, and would never look back.

Compassion had never been necessary before, and it sure as hell wasn't now.

It was so easy to get rid of it. Every day, for these past fifteen years, that kind part of him a grown weaker and weaker, while his true self grew colder and crueler. That's why it had been so easy. Killing was always easy, whether it was another or a part of himself.

So easy…

Lost in thought he had forgotten the girl kneeling in the mud, clutching his hakama as if it was her last link to her life. A murderer using his name, eh? Well, he would have to take care of that, but first he wanted her to let go of him. Let got of him, and then they could talk rationally. Besides, she was slightly intriguing, with those melancholy eyes so full of pain.

Still, he couldn't allow himself to show weakness. Gathering his thoughts, he glared at her again.

"Look. I don't know who in the hell you are, what the hell you want with me, or where in the hell you heard these stories, and quite frankly, I don't care. But I want you to do something right now. Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me."

He knew how could his tone was. He knew how cruel his words were. He didn't care. If brutal words were the only way to make her listen to reason then he would use as many as he knew.

Those azure eyes stared up at him in shock, and he resisted the urge to smirk. _That_ had shocked her. Now at least she would listen to reason. Slowly her grip on his hakama loosened. She stood up and regained her composure, but her azure eyes, so blank and lonely never left his cold amber ones.

* * *

"Look. I don't know who in the hell you are, what the hell you want with me, or where in the hell you heard these stories, and quite frankly, I don't care. But I want you to do something right now. Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me."

Kaoru had never had words like those spoken to her. She had never looked into eyes as cold as his. She had never felt as afraid as she did in that second, but, while she was weeping on the ground like that she had made some decisions.

_Do not fear._

She wasn't going to fear him. Anything that he could do to her, she wasn't going to anticipate. She was merely going to deal with this amber-eyed problem one second at a time. She was just going to ignore the fact that he could kill her. She just wanted to find out the truth. Why?

Still, those words had made her fingers weaken from their iron-tight grip on his hakama.

_ "Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me."_

Mentally sighing she dismissed her anger at the words and finally began to collect her rampant emotions, all the while she stared into those haunting eyes. She composed her face, made up her mind, and stood, still staring at his eyes. She a comforting litany run through her head.

_There is no reason to fear. I have nothing to lose. This man can kill me, but he cannot hurt me anymore than I have already been hurt._

Over and over the words ran through her head. Over and over and over, until she could not tell where one stopped and the other began. Over and over and over, until they began to collided into and incoherent muddle, and still they came, those same for sentences. Over and over and over.

She supposed that the only reason she was able to remain sane was staring into those strange eyes. Eyes that had come strangely familiar over the past few minutes. Those killers eyes. Eyes of ice. Ice that matched the voice. A voice which spoke cruel words in an emotionless tone.

Inwardly she berated herself for her redundant thoughts. Thoughts that she shouldn't be having. Where had her will to run gone? It was now, undoubtedly, gone. The only thing left was an empty feeling that left her slightly nauseous. She would face him. Mustering all of her courage, she asked him in a cool tone that shocked even her the question that had been plaguing her mind.

"Are you Hitokiri Battousai? Are you the one who has been killing all of these innocents in Tokyo?"

A slight flicker in those amber eyes of confusion, and then it was gone. So it wasn't him. Still, she awaited his answer, wanting to hear what he would say.

It never came.

* * *

::End of Chapter Discussion::

I felt like clarifying a few things

1. Kenshin, or Battousai is never became a rurouni who doesn't kill, although, he's still a wanderer, just one that kills. Yes, his personality very cold hearted and he's rather rude, compared to the normal Battousai, but the way I see it, if he wanders around Japan for ten years, following "aku soku zan" more or less, he's going to become a bit jaded and gain some foul language.

2. The "aku soku zan" thing. Yes, I know it's a Shinsengumi principle, (by the way, it was a principle followed by the _entire_ Shinsengumi and not just Saitou. However, in the anime when Saitou and Kenshin fight at the Kamiya Dojo, you realize that Saitou berates him for abandoning the principle. Therefore, I choose to believe that it was a principle of both the Shinsengumi and the Ishin Shishi and therefore, Kenshin follows in much as Saitou does.

3. I realize that the style in which this is written was confusing. Just know that when there's a line it's changing perspective. Yes, I know, some stuff was repetitive. This chapter was mostly expository. Guess who the perspective was changing between? (a whole two choices, so very hard.)

4. Yes, I also realize that Kaoru is _much_ too intelligent and level-headed. Give me a break here, It's the best that I could do. Just consider her more mature for whatever reason. It wouldn't fit with my nice angsty setting if she was too much her usual self.

Okay, I'm done now, I just had to clarify a few things.


	3. In An Instant

In An Instant  
  
In an instant life can change. In an instant what would have been an death can turn to life. In an instant a truth that was about to be revealed will fall again into obscurity. That's exactly what happened. In an instant Kaoru's life seemed to fall back in place.  
  
It was the sound of a whistle.  
  
A sound that had plagued this district of Tokyo for the past few nights. It had become a sound of death. The whistle that the police force used to notify one another of a criminal's presence. It was a sound that Kaoru had come to simultaneously dread and anticipate. It was the sound that meant Battousai was near.  
  
Indecision coursed through her veins. She had been so sure that this man was he, the legendary Hitokiri Battousai. Eyes like a flat, depthless gemstone had stared back at her. Every breath she had taken had been forced. He had made her want to run away in fear, unlike anything she had every experienced before. If any man in the Meiji era still had the soul of a hitokiri, then it would be this emotionless, brutal man.  
  
She had been so sure...  
  
...But then, she heard the cries of "Battousai!" in the distance. She had looked into confused eyes. She had lost all of her resolve in a moment of confusion.  
  
But now, with the sound of a distant whistle still blaring in her ears, she ran forward, her mind, which had faltered now intent on the sound. The cold killer forgotten in the heat of rage she felt.  
  
Infused with anger, she did what she had been unable to do before. She ran.

* * *

Normally he wouldn't do it, but it has been a less than normal day today.  
  
It wasn't like him to care about someone this much, but he couldn't help it. He was intrigued.  
  
Normally he would have just ignored her.  
  
Normally he would just walk away in the opposite direction.  
  
He couldn't though.  
  
As she had ran off his eyes had remained trained on her back. Ebony hair and melancholy sapphire eyes. He couldn't help it. He wanted to know more about her. She had shocked him with her bravery and candor. He wanted to know, badly, what had shaped the person she was. So, he did what any irrational, intrigued and irritated hitokiri would do.  
  
He ran after her.

* * *

Breathless.  
  
She found it hard to breathe. It wasn't because she had been running. It was because of the man she saw in the distance. A big bear of a man, well over six feet, holding a katana and laughing insanely as he slaughtered the helpless police force with his deadly satsujin ken. Hitokiri Battousai. She found it hard to breathe indeed.  
  
Her heart began beating faster as adrenaline began rushing through her veins. This was it. All of her confusion and embarrassment from the time before was gone, wiped away. There was only fierce determination.  
  
Tightening her sweaty hands on her bokken she began to run once again, headed toward almost certain death with reckless abandon.

* * *

He almost didn't get there in time. He saw her rushing forward blindly, straight into the katana of the giant man. Blindly. Foolishly. He mentally reprimanded her. She would never survive in the Bakumatsu.  
  
That thought made him pause. Never in the Bakumatsu, but this was no longer the Bakumatsu. This was something different. The Meiji era.  
  
Still, that revelation didn't stop the giant's katana from barreling down on the girl. Acting quickly, he ran forward and scooped the girl up in his arms. For a second, cold amber and sapphire blue touched, and just for a second his eyes seemed to soften. Dodging the man's obvious swing effortlessly he landed on his feet and glared at the man, still clutching the girl in his arms.  
  
This looked like it was going to get messy.

* * *

She was having trouble understanding what had just happened. She stared at him in shock. Had he just saved her life? She shook her head. What made this arrogant man think that she needed saving?  
  
"Why did you do that?" She whispered fiercely, glaring at him.  
  
His cold amber eyes gave her look for look until she finally turned her eyes away. "You were about to die. I was right there. It's as simple as that."  
  
She stared at him in astonishment. She was about to die? Why would this man care? It didn't add up, it didn't make sense. She couldn't understand why he had just saved her life, this man whom she had thought would kill her mere moments before.  
  
She began trembling in his arms, the giant of a man forgotten in the heat of the moment. She hated him. She hated the man that had just saved her life. The man that scared her, the man that made her feel weak. She hated him with a passion that she didn't think she had ever felt before. Those cold amber eyes, to her, looked condescending, as if she was a very small child in a very large world ...  
  
She hated that look with a passion. She hated everything about this man. When she tried to reason with her hate, it occurred to her. A very small child in a very large world. That's exactly what she was. She was young and naïve. She was not well versed in the ways of the world. She was susceptible to her emotions. In a flash she understood this and just as quickly she rejected the feeling. "Put me down," she growled, turning her eyes to meet his once again as irritation flared in her mind.  
  
He looked at her as he would look at an insect, and then gently set her on the ground. "Is that better?"  
  
Kaoru glared at him, and then looked at the giant man who was grinning fiercely. "That was touching, bitch. I hope you and the pansy enjoyed your romantic interlude. It's time to die now, though."  
  
Kaoru straightened her gi and cleared her mind, pushing her irritation aside. Clutching her bokken she began to charge again. "Prepare yourself, Hitokiri Battousai!"  
  
A firm grip on her arm stopped her in mid-charge. "Don't be foolish. If you fight this man you will die. There is no question of that." She turned to see the man calmly staring at her. His voice was cool, almost monotone and completely reasonable. She hated him even more for that. A very small child in a very large world indeed.  
  
She tried to shake his hand off her shoulder, but it wouldn't budge. She tried harder but it still refused to move. She turned her neck to glare at him. "Let me go!" Her voice was high, a little too high, and had a slightly ragged edge. She was starting to lose what little was left of her composure.  
  
Slowly the grip loosened on her shoulder. "Do you really want to die that badly?" He asked in his infuriatingly calm and emotionless voice.  
  
She glared at him, but he never got his answer, because at that moment then tall man had apparently gotten fed up with watching them and decided to attack.  
  
Kaoru began to charge forward to meet his attack, but in an instant she found herself being flung backwards into a wall by a now-familiar hand. From her position she glared at him, but he took no notice. He had removed his katana from his hakama with it still sheathed and was preparing for an attack.  
  
An attack that happened so quickly that Kaoru never even saw it.

* * *

He didn't really think about what he was doing. It was all natural. Well, except for the fact that he kept his katana still in his scabbard. That part took a lot of concentration. Killing had become second nature to him. It was difficult to keep that lethal blade in it's scabbard, but he did keep it sheathed.  
  
The form he needed he executed perfectly, without a second thought. He had trained his entire life with the sword. He knew the semantics of Hiten Mitsurugi better than he knew his own mind. Every subtle nuance, every slight motion. The sword was his life, and he knew it well.  
  
It was somewhat of a shock when blood didn't come flying out of the man's neck. He was so used to death that he found the lack of it disconcerting. Still, it was enough that the fool dropped like a stone.  
  
He looked at the unconscious giant disparagingly. He knew that he should kill the man right now, but there would be witnesses. The police were already making tentative movements toward him. Things could get bad. Someone in could recognize him. Not probable, but definitely possible. It had only been ten years.  
  
Ten years, and not a single thing had truly changed. The irony of it all made him want to retch. So much for happiness.  
  
So he didn't kill the man, much to the sapphire-eyed child's surprise, much to the giant's fool's surprise, and moreover, much to his own. There would be another time and place to kill this man, if need be.  
  
Returning both saya an katana to the belt that cinched his hakama he made his was over to the girl almost impulsively. That girl with those entrancing sapphire eyes.

* * *

She looked at him with surprise. The man was still breathing. Why was he still breathing? He shouldn't be. He should be dead. That amber-eyed man in the gray hakama and blue haori should have killed him, so why wasn't he dead?  
  
Those thoughts stopped when he turned towards her and began a slow advance in her direction, inexorable as the dawn. Once again she wanted to run away, and once again she couldn't.  
  
Finally right in front of her he cocked his head and made a mocking smirk with his lips. "I never did catch your name."  
  
She looked him strangely. Her name? Why in the name of everything would he care about her name? Still something in his expression demanded answers. Truthful answers, no less. "Kamiya Kaoru, assistant master of the Kamiya Kasshin style, katsujin ken."  
  
His lips writhed into a bitter, twisted smile. "Sword that gives life, eh? A life-giving blade?" His eyes narrowed, now burning with a challenge. "Show me."  
  
She felt a lump rise in her throat. "_Show_ me." It echoed through her mind unpleasantly. "_Show_ me." Mocking words from a blood-stained warrior, from a _hitokiri_. How did she, how could she, _show _him. It was a primal, inner understanding. A blade that is not a tool for death. That's what she was all about. How do you _show_ that to someone who as lived his entire life killing. Killing and then...  
  
"Watch me."  
  
It was a surprise, her rise to his challenge. _Watch me. Watch how I live, watch my way of life, and I'll show you my katsujin ken, just wait and see.  
_

* * *

He was taken aback.  
  
"_Watch_ me."  
  
_Watch_ her? _Watch_ her attempt to live her foolish ideals? The thought suddenly struck as amusing. With a dry chuckle he responded: "It would be my honor"

* * *

His _honor_? He was going to take her offer, her bet, her _bluff_? Suddenly a stone dropped into the pit of Kaoru's stomach. His honor. Well, then, neither of them were going to back down.  
  
"Then, you'll come to the dojo. I'll prove it. I'll prove that it's more than a silly ideal, and you'll try to prove me wrong. We'll see the way it really works." She smiled grimly. "However, no man is staying in my dojo without a name. Pray tell, who are you?"

* * *

In an instant lives can change and fall, just as they can change with a word. For an instant he hesitated and then: "Himura Kenshin."  
  
...and that is how it began. Two lives became entwined at that moment. Amber met blue and something strange began. Something that would change both of them forever.  
  
Far off somewhere, the conspirators, Fate and Density, were laughing maliciously.

* * *

Author Note:  
  
After much struggling my next chapter is here. Yay. It's been an eternity since I updated. Not that it matters, no one really reviews.  
  
**...**: Thank you for you're reviews, I love you. 


	4. Common Ground

Common Ground

He looked around the slightly decrepit dojo with something bordering on distaste. He wasn't comfortable here. This was a place of life, and he was a merchant of death. Maybe it wasn't distaste that he felt. Maybe instead it was discomfort.

She looked at him with those large blue eyes full of questions that he refused to give answers to. He knew a single concession would open a floodgate of questions he wasn't up to answering right at this moment, so instead they sat, in silence, each one waiting for it to be broken by the other.

His long, thin fingers brushed the hilt of the worn katana lying at his side with the barest of caresses. He allowed himself to reflect on his impulsive actions. He had been foolish with his words, but she had been even more with hers. He couldn't allow her to so simply discard a truth which had been taught to him ever since he was a child. The entire notion of "A sword that gives life" was ludicrous, even blasphemous, to someone like him.

Still, he couldn't find it in himself to shatter her fragile belief in something so foolish. That thought, that kind of _sentimentality_, should have alarmed him, but for some reason it didn't. For some strange reason he thought it was okay to be kind to this little girl, because that was what she was. Hardly more than a child, with over large sapphire eyes in a pale oval face surrounded by ebony locks pulled back in a careless ponytail. It was alright to humor her, for some reason, but then, he had never been one to force his beliefs upon others.

That thought stopped him cold. It wasn't true. Maybe in verbal arguments he had never taken interest. He was always the passive one carried along on the currents of the overwhelming desires of others, but deep down, in the most base sense he knew that he pushed his beliefs more forcibly upon others than most, for those who did not believe in his morals or his reasoning inevitably died. That was the lot of a hitokiri.

Still, it didn't explain his strange affinity for this woman-child. He still couldn't quite grasp...

_Grasp!_

That was it. It his him so suddenly that he did something he had not done in an eternity. He laughed.

* * *

Ironically enough Kaoru had been wondering the same thing as he, although with much less luck. What insanity had pushed her to invite this strange man, this _hitokiri_ (for there was no doubt in her mind that this man was a killer) into her home?

More importantly she wanted to know why she felt such empathy for this man.

She found it strange that she was sitting here across from him, a man she had been sure that would kill her not but minutes ago. She found it terrifying and at the same time exhilarating in a strange way. So exhilarating, in fact, that she almost completely forgot about Hitokiri Battousai and his terrible plans to ruin her life and everything she believed in.

The silence had begun to grate on her nerves. Finally she was on the verge of saying something, _anything_ (even if it was completely inane) just to keep the terrible silence from her ears.

She was saved a potentially embarrassing moment due to his outburst of laughter.

* * *

It really wasn't all that funny. It wasn't funny in the slightest. Actually, there weren't many thoughts more lacking in humor than the thoughts he was thinking now.

They had both been grasping things, holding on to things as if their lives depended on it. Objects that they hadn't been able to let go of. He could recall quite clearly as her small fingers had grasped the hem of his hakama with a fierce determination. He could recall even more clearly grasping the hilt of his katana with a cold kind of dependence.

In life, most people have something that, no matter what the consequences might be, that they are unable to let go of. For him at had been (was currently, and always would be) his lethal katana. For her it had been, at that single second, his hakama. They were the same concept, essentially, the final lifeline to sanity.

He knew it to be true. Painfully true. Grasping in desperation. The last chance to remain...whole.

Not funny, at all, but why then was he laughing?

_No reason_, he thought, _no reason at all._

He went on laughing for what seemed like the span of eternity. Finally the laughter faded away, and once again there was silence, and only a two pairs of eyes, one amber and one sapphire.

* * *

After his bitter laughter had faded into mocking echoes, after those mocking echoes had faded into oblivion, Kaoru made a decision. 

Finally, she knew what to say. Strange words, but words that felt somehow _right_.

"You remind me of him, of my father."

* * *

_That _stopped him. He reminded her of her father?

Her _father_?

Never had he heard such words. Words that were strange to him. Never had he been compared to the father of anyone.

"And how do I remind you of your father?"

Her hands, which she had been nervously dry washing up until now fell limp in her lap.

* * *

There are some memories that were better left undisturbed, and this was one of them. Kaoru could faintly recall her father, a slender, tall man with dead serious blue eyes and well-kept hair. The Meiji era had never sat well with the man. Those who could not move on with the times never survived for long. Not very long after the rise of the Meiji regime he had rebelled, and his rebellion had been punished brutally.

Now before her sat another man. This one not quite exactly life the man, but close enough for her to see the resemblance. Both of them had cold eyes, both of them were willing to kill. The difference remained that in his last two years of life her father had changed into someone willing to protect others, and not kill them. This man had not, or would not. This Kaoru knew on an instinctive level. Still his question burned in her mind. A question with no answer she was willing to give.

"And how do I remind you of your father?"

Kaoru looked at him, feigning innocence. "Nothing in particular, I'm just blabbering more or less. I'm very sorry, I've a tendency to ramble! Oh, I'm being silly again, I'm sorry!" She quickly averted her eyes and began playing with the hem of the kimono she was now dressed in.

His look was scathing and full of the same condescension that he had directed towards her before. Kaoru resisted the urge to cringe away from that expression of disdain. Once again silence reigned heavily down upon them both.

Silence, until Kaoru's stomach groaned loudly in protest. She hadn't eaten for a long time. She blushed furiously and bowed her head even more. "Um, would you like something to eat?"

The man shrugged indifferently, an expression that Kaoru took for consent. "Okay then, um...I'll get to cooking."

* * *

He had never seen such an unappetizing mess lay before him. Intrigued her tentatively picked up a piece of the meal Kaoru had laid before the two of them with his chopsticks and stuck it in his mouth. With a blank look on his face he chewed and swallowed, and then gave Kaoru a strange look. "Why the hell does this stuff that looks like shit taste so good?"

Kaoru glared at him. He calmly met her eyes and she averted hers to the ground. "Well, I never quite learned the 'presentation' part of the cooking. Does it really matter that much?"

Kenshin shrugged noncommittally and continued eating Kaoru's terribly deformed food, which still miraculously tasted good.

"So..." Kaoru said in a feeble attempt to make conversation.

He stopped eating once again and looked up at her. She didn't look away this time. "I hope that you realize while you're staying here, you won't be freeloading. Tomorrow you're going to go and help me buy groceries."

Kenshin sighed and shoved his now-empty dishes aside. "That's fine with me." 

Kaoru nodded. "Good. Now I'm going to sleep. Be ready tomorrow morning at sunrise. Got it?"

Kenshin merely stared off into the distance wondering at what he had gotten himself into.

* * *

Reviews:

**Goldmund**: The other characters will be making an appearance soon. Very soon. I'm just setting the stage for them. My goal is to rewrite the entire series with this twist, though I don't known if I'll be able to pull it off.

**Ichigo**: I'm not quite sure what will happen with Kenshin's personality, but we'll see. The story is more writing itself than I am. Glad you like the portrayal!

...: you're my hero, as usual

**nim**: thanks for the review. I hope you like the newest twist

**Mini-Oro-Kenji-Himura**: By your request, Kaoru can cook well. It looks nasty, but she can cook well. Is that better? I hope you like it!

**Nanakilover/Brukaoru**: I didn't continue soon, but I did continue. How's this? Sorry, it's mostly filler, but I really needed to post something to prove this fic wasn't dead!

**Angela Himura**: Thanks for the review!

**Clemen**: Updated, and I'll try to email it, if I remember!

**Tigerwolf**: I hope you like the direction this is headed in

**Burntsilent**: I've always thought so too. I've loved the hitokiri concept. It's so interesting

**Battousi'sgurl**: thank you for the review, thank you very much!

**MisoSoupNoodles**: I'm still working on the twisting. I really have a fetish for twisted characters, so I'm going to have fun when some more of the RK cast are introduced, especially Saitou

**Electronicgamer3**: Well, it's not soon, but it is more!

**Evilteddybear**: Here's more

Author note:

Sorry it took so dang long. My life has been hectic. This chapter sucks, but the plot will pick up from here. These are the most reviews I've ever gotten, and I hope you continue to read because I plan to continue! Oh, and please forgive typos and please bring them to my attention, if you will?


	5. Premonition

Premonition

Was it strange? She supposed so. It wasn't exactly normal, you know. One doesn't often watch others in there sleep. Still, she found it difficult to look away. His chest rose and fell almost imperceptibly, and his burnished copper bangs were carelessly brushed across his head. He was a picture of untouchable frozen beauty. She bit her lip. She wanted to touch his ethereal beauty, but she wouldn't. Not him.

Silently, she closed the fragile paper door to the room, a sorrowful sight lingering on her lips. And then, in an instant, she was gone, and amber eyes opened to stare at an empty room bathed in gentle moonlight.

Funny, he could have sworn someone else had been there with him.

* * *

She awoke to bars of sweet sunlight on her face. She savored the morning for a moment, and then carefully sat up. It had been a long night full of uncomfortable sleep full of intangible nightmares, and it left her feeling lost and confused. She sat up and began to take off her yukata, changing into her favorite azure kimono. She nimbly cinched it with an obi, and then gathered up the rest of her belongings, ready to face a new day and an intriguing stranger.

* * *

He was waiting for her by the gate of the dojo, dressed simply in navy and gray, with both wakizashi and katana tucked into his belt with practiced ease as she finally made her way out of the house. He didn't say anything to her, he merely glanced in her direction, raising supercilious eyebrows.

"What?" she asked.

He glanced at the sun in such a matter that it drew her attention to it as well. It's position in the sky informed her that it was well past midday. She blushed furiously. What had she said? Sunrise? "I'm sorry," she muttered under her breath.

With a shrug he began to walk off. "It doesn't really matter."

Kaoru followed him, still ashamed.

* * *

He walked several feet ahead of her, leading the way through the streets of Tokyo, which were crowded with the both the poor and the middle class, the former of which were bemoaning their losses off to the sides of the streets; the latter of which scurried about their business like industrious mice. So this was his childhood dream of peace and equality manifest in today's society? It was a disgrace to ever life he had ever taken, and he had taken some rather admirable lives in his time.

A thin should connected with his waist, and a hand grappled frantically at a purse he kept at his side. Without any hesitation, Kenshin hauled the young offender up by the neck of his haori to look into eyes which spitted defiance. Ah, here was one of the most disgusting products of humanity; the pickpocket.

"What the hell are you doing?" The boy squealed, writhing this way and that in a feeble and utterly impotent attempt to break free of Kenshin's grip. Kenshin noticed with mild detached amusement how the boy's short legs kicked back and forth above the ground. Meanwhile, the vast sea of people flowed around them, refusing to acknowledge the scene taking place in their midst.

"I'd like to know the same thing." Kaoru asked, coming up behind him. "He's an innocent boy, Himura-san!"

Kenshin gave her a strange look. "Said innocent boy just tried to steal my money, Kamiya-san" He gave the boy a mild shake, which made the boy jingle with the sound of coins. "Sounds like I'm not the only one who he robbed either."

Kaoru stepped back from Kenshin, allowing him to have room to maneuver. She was mildly annoyed at herself for showing how absolutely naive she was in front of the man she wanted most to impress.

Wait.

She?

Impress?

_Him_?

It was a novel idea, one that hadn't occurred to her until this moment, but she knew it was true. Somehow, inexplicably, and in the single day she had known him, he had become one of those people she wanted to impress.

Why? Because he could see right through her, and she couldn't stand it, she couldn't stand herself, in fact, but just the same, she wanted to impress him, because, perhaps one time when he saw completely through her, he wouldn't see something despicable.

Kenshin continued to hold the struggling child, and Kaoru continued to watch with some strange fascination. "Who are you?"

The boy spit in his face. "I don't have to answer that!"

Kenshin's response was a sickly grin. "What I thought, you're dirt, you don't even have a name." With a casual twist of his wrist he dropted the boy on the ground in an unceremonious and resumed his pace through the city. With a single backwards glace, Kaoru followed him.

It was about ten minutes before the boy shoved in front of them. Kaoru noted his messy hair and tan, slightly elfish face, which was covered in smudges of dirt. He glared at both of them for a moment, and then muttered through clenched teeth the name "Yahiko Myougin" before disappearing into the crowd once again. Kenshin's sickly grin appeared again. "What's this, dirt with a name?"

Kaoru was mildly shocked at the emotion in Kenshin's voice. He turned to look at her expectantly. "You said something about groceries?"

All thoughts of the boy forgotten, Kaoru nodded as she dug around in her sleeve, finally managing to pull out a crumpled piece of paper with several items sprawled on it in sloppy handwriting. It was half of her grocery list. Kenshin's half. She shoved it into his hand. She nodded in the direction of the kimono shop down the street. "Meet me back there, Himura-san."

Kenshin glanced at the kimono stand and nodded as his eyes quickly scanned the grocery list.

* * *

They met back in front of the kimono shop as the sun became a dim shadow on the horizon, Kenshin laden with heavy bulk goods while Kaoru carried only a small load. She had been wise when making out her grocery list. She mentally noted with pleasure that he was coated with an almost imperceptible sheet of sweat.

They began to walk side by side, taking a leisurely pace until they reached the Kamiya dojo. True, there was silence between the two, but it was such a silence that neither of them much minded it. Hurriedly Kenshin placed the groceries inside the house and then left. Kaoru called out questioningly after him, but he merely grunted in reply.

There was unfinished business afoot, and for a moment Kaoru had a premonition that would set of a chain of utterly destructive events.

* * *

**Author Notes** It's very late, of that I am aware, it's also rather rushed, however, I've rediscovered my love for this fic, and I shall soon be writing more where things actually happen. I hope this was enjoyable enough though, I know the writing style is a bit different, and I apologize for that, but I tried my best. 

**A roaring thank you to **Nekotsuki, Imi-nashi, Lilmatchgirl007, Electronicgamer,Mini-Oro-Kenji-Himura, Inu's Keeper, Nim, Alerna, Ooga booga, Swan, Nanakilover/Brukaoru, Reignashii, Ichigo Drops, Sandy, Goldmund, lilsakli, Seikkyokuka, Kawaii Thief Kitsune, Stefanie2, HakkeKage, and Jenny.

I'm trying to keep review responses to a minimum, so e-mail me, or IM me if you'd like to talk. I"m mostly harmless, don't worry.


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